T-Shirt Quotes

  • I’m the person your mother warned you about.
  • I’m not as dumb as you look.
  • No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.
  • We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.
  • Never kick a man unless he’s down.
  • There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.
  • Work is the curse of the drinking class.
  • The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.
  • How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?
  • I wear the brains in the family.
  • There’s no future in time travel.
  • Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.
  • Beat the 5 o’clock rush - Leave work at noon.
  • I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant
  • I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
  • I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
  • Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
  • All men are idiots And I married their king.
  • Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
  • My Dog Can Lick Anyone.
  • Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
  • People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
  • There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • A day without sunshine is like night.
  • Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
  • Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
  • The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
  • I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
  • I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
  • Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.
  • I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
  • Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.
  • All men are idiots And I married their king.
  • In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.
  • Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.
  • No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!
  • Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!
  • I wear the brains in the family.
  • BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.
  • Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.
  • There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
  • A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.
  • Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
  • Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
  • We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  • It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.
  • Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer
  • Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.
  • Weapons Of Mass Distraction.
  • This is my drinking shirt.
  • I can resist everything except temptation.
  • Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
  • Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?
  • Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.
  • I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.
  • Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.
  • Us blondes aren’t dumb.
  • Wasted All The Time.
  • Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.
  • Blonde and proud of it.
  • Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.
  • Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.
  • I’m with Stupid.
  • I don’t need no Educashun.